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Alphies Restaurant
5725 Hollister Ave, Goleta
Phone: (805) 683-1202


Reviews by the General Public

Genuine
Reviewer: Bob from Santa Barbara, CA
Nine times out of ten my experience at Alphie's has been very good. The food is tasty, the servings generous, the price more than reasonable, and the service good. It is only normal that at times service will vary. This is a family business, and once in a while someone does not show up and they are understaffed that morning, but all in all Alphie's is really a great local secret--good and big breakfast, wide variety on the menu, not at all expensive, and nice people. If you are a local, they cater to locals, and it is sort of like going to Cheers ("everybody knows your name"). This is not supposed to be the Biltmore. Get over it. Alphie's is genuine. It's the real deal. If you want tourism, go to the Bacara and pay ten times the price. Fess Parker's DoubleTree isn't always that good either--Alphie's has them beat most of the time. I've been going to Alphie's for about ten years. Have been disappointed maybe three times out of 100. Get real, people, this is the local place that's great.


Not a happy place.
Reviewer: Bob from Santa Barbara, CA
Very unfriendly place. They never say hello or thank you. Food not bad but with this kind of service I will never go back again. Just a crabby bunch that seem like the couldn't care less about you.


Everything out of a can
Reviewer: Studies from Santa Barbara, CA
Well maybe the eggs weren't. To call the decor eclectic is an understatement. This was a once in a lifetime experiences for my wife and I.


Polynesian-run breakfast with heart and soul
Reviewer: Laura from Santa Barbara, CA
This is a one-of-kind place. It's not perfect as others have noted. The food is better, I believe, than Cajun Kitchen. The atmosphere can't be matched: You've got interesting Polynesian art and Gauguin prints, home-cooked food, family running everything. If you go on a lucky Sunday you'll hear the owner play organ with his jazz ensemble and they could easily have a standing gig at Soho! The two grandmas who seat people: one is sweet, one is sour. The rest of the family are very kind and efficient and though it gets busy, there's never a bad vibe, just a busy vibe. It's a real place for real people (and soul people).


Velveeta--it's what's for breakfast
Reviewer: JohnD from Santa Barbara, CA
I sometimes would go to Alphie's "just because it's there." Nothing to really write home about--mediocre, forgettable food, so-so service. What finally put me off of it was that I one day ordered an omelette, only to discover after one bite that it was made with VELVEETA instead of cheese! When I told the lady who took my money at the cash register that the omelette was tuly the yardstick by which all truly terrible omelettes would be measured from that time forward, she beamed and said, "Oh. I'm so glad! I'll tell the cook." Any restaurant that even allows Velveeta within its doors is a restaurant that I'd rather avoid. Hey, call me an elitist. I've been called worse.


Top notch
Reviewer: jennifer garoso from Santa Barbara, CA
very good, a bit loud but i like it.


Take a look in the mirror!
Reviewer: Kristina from Santa Barbara, CA
Max from SB that titled his review "Such Morons" is naming himself. If Alphie's is that terrible, why does he continue to frequent the restaurant? The people he is calling "morons" are elderly members of the family that started the restaurant decades ago. It's touching that they are kept as part of the staff despite all the really horrible things people say in reviews. We have experienced the difficulties of these elderly people, but I was taught by my parents, and taught my own children, that all generations are valuable and deserve respect. The rantings about the bad flavors from the grill just seem like more of a negative rant. You keep going to Alphie's yet you don't like the food, hmmmm?


You've got to understand family restaurants!
Reviewer: Kristina from Santa Barbara, CA
If you want the land of IHOP, McD's, & Disneyland, this is not the place to go. This is a REAL family enterprise and this family is letting all generations contribute! Overall, the food is great! The gravy could use some tweaking, but the serving sizes are amazing! If you don't like your service, go to one of the under 60 year old servers and they will make sure you're taken care of. (Any one with any skills of observation would realize that a family is trying to include all members in the wait staff) The music at brunch on the weekend is awesome and this IS truly a local favorite!


its like eating at gramma's house
Reviewer: iuosua gasio from Santa Barbara, CA
food is good...love the omelettes..good music..i give it a 2 thumbs up...jus the old lady that works there is kinda rude...but she dont really bother me...the food makes up for that


Disappointing
Reviewer: Lisa from Santa Barbara, CA
Food was overpriced and stale.


Such morons!!
Reviewer: Max from Santa Barbara, CA
I've eaten poached eggs, toast and coffee at Alphy's for months. It's all I trust them with. They clean the grill in the morning and I've gotten Omelets that tasted like carbonized motor oil, I could not finish them... Dragon Ladies run the place, the men are like whipped puppies. Today my Fav Gal Pal showed up and we got her a burger. The fries were awful, the oil needed changing and they were burnt. We asked for a substitute of a pancake and Dragon Lady told us to get out and not come back! I'm a $300 a month customer and she would not pony up a pancake...


Mixed bag
Reviewer: Annette from Santa Barbara, CA
I've gotta say. I love the toast here. That's a weird way to start a review but honestly I've come here before based on that alone. The food is not consistent but when it's good it really is satisfying and fresh. I like the omelets and big portions, I dont think I've ever finished my plate. The French toast is not impressive but I stick to eggs. Service is not good. I won't say they're rude, because that's never happened. However the wait to take your order is way longer than it should be and I dont think I've ever seen servers in a good mood. Food comes out in good time but I do have to say a better attitude would make a big difference. Even just a good morning and have a nice day when we leave. To end on a good note I'd still say it's worth a try as it is better than most breakfast places.


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